I am and I am not...

I said I shall tell the tale of my heart as best as I can;
Caught in the storm of my tears, with a bleeding heart,I failed to do that!I tried to relate to event in broken, muted words;
The cup of my thoughts was so fragile, that I fell into pieces like shattered glass.

Many ships were wrecked in this storm;What is my little helpless boat in comparison?
The waves destroyed my ship, neither good remained nor bad;
Free from myself, I tied my body to a raft.

Now, I am neither up nor down-no this is not a fair description;
I am up on a wave one instant, and down under another the next.

I am not aware of my existence, I know only this:
When I am, I am not, and when I am not, I am!
(Divan 1419:1-6)

Grahame's final recited poem:

"I was born the day I met you,
Lived a while when you loved me,
Died a little when we broke apart."